Friday, April 24, 2009

The miracle of toilet paper

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.'

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in
front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will this take?' I asked.

'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.

I
stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'

Without
missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your ass, didn't it?'

Stupid, stupid man.

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