古诗改编大全

唧唧复唧唧，木兰生小鸡。
斩草不除根，春风吹又生。
春眠不觉晓，处处蚊子咬。
清水出芙蓉，蠢猪各不同。

忧劳可以兴国，闭目可以养神。
穷则独善其身，富则妻妾成群。

天生我材必有用，老鼠儿子会打洞。
两个黄鹂鸣翠柳，一行白鹭上西天。
座中泣下谁最多，哭哭啼啼真啰嗦。
两情若是长久时，该是两人成婚时。
待到山花烂漫时，我便奋力把花采。
西塞山前白鹭飞，东村河边黑龟爬。
良药苦口利于病，吸烟喝酒伤身体。

Johnson & Johnson

When you have an “I Hate My Job day”

[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]

Try this out . . . .

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy

and go to the thermometer section and

purchase a rectal thermometer made

by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors,

draw the curtains and disconnect the phone

so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.

Open the package and remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.

You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at

Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ARSE THAN YOURS!

Now, back to your cubicle and do your great job!

iWant is the iPhone application all you need

Features list:

• Mint-fresh toilet deodoriser
• Art photo library
• 101 instant excuses
• Breathalyzer & yeehaa button
• Digital bum scratcher
• Fruit gums & jelly babies
• Personal fanfare
• Brrrrm brrrm button
• Toothpick dispenser
• Grunting sound
• Canned laughter
• Croaking frog sound
• Whooping sound
• Fast food maps
• Toilet paper end of roll warning

CCTV Commercial Ink - Directed by Niko Tziopanos

Directed by Niko Tziopanos, and azzparently starring a wholalotlot of Harry Potter’s Death Eater wannabes, this advertising for Central China Television has me completely mesmerised today. I just can’t have enough of that ink-in-water effect.

Rubber Glove

This guy lives in a garbage truck...

Erm, privy terms is the very latest in front-wall, fresh-air orifices, combined with a wide-capacity gutter installation below.

Do you mean you crap out of the window?

现在的学生真有才

• “床前明月光”，下一句同学填“李白睡的香”…
• “三个臭皮匠”下一句他竟然填“臭味都一样”…批卷老师立即晕倒…
• 陶渊明的“不为五斗米折腰”，那同学斗胆的写“给我六斗就可以”…
• “穷则独善其身”，下一句同学填“富则妻妾成群”。
• “西塞山前白鹭飞”，下一句“东村河边乌龟爬”？
• “天若有情天亦老”，下一句“人若有情死的早”？
• “葡萄美酒夜光杯”，下一句“金钱美女一大堆”…
• “想当年，金戈铁马”，下一句“看今朝，死缠烂打”…
• 这个才过瘾！“洛阳亲友如相问”，同学对“请你不要告诉他”…
• “两情若是长久时”，同学对“该是两人结婚时”
• “书到用时方恨少”，同学对“钱到月底不够花”…
• “清水出芙蓉”，有人写“乱世出英雄”…
• “问君能有几多愁”，同学填“恰似一壶二锅头”。
• 这个绝了！“日照香炉生紫烟，李白来到洗手间，小李飞刀一瞬间，李白变成小太监”…！