有钱女网络炫富之后所引发的互相PK

南宁一网友，自称是女性，声称自己年少多金，月薪20多万，开宝马，带江诗丹顿表...

下图是她在南宁时空版所用的头像，自称是她的自拍图片。



接下来PK的一幕发生了,网友纷纷自暴家门...

一个网友进来PK的头像:声称图中所带的表是Patek Philippe(百达翡丽)，钻戒是Tiffany。



其他网友不甘示弱,纷纷进来PK... ...

Is It Male or Female?

Ever wondered the gender of a photocopier? Wonder no more, the answers to all your gender questions are here, You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are either male or female.

Below are some examples:

• FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
  
  
• PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong ones.
  
  
• TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over-inflated.
  
  
• HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under them.
  
  
• SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
  
  
• WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
  
  
• TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
  
  
• EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female, because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
  
  
• HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
  
  
• THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

A joke about Aussie

A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London to Melbourne and when drink orders were taken the Aussie asked for rum and coke which was placed before him.

The attendant then asked the Muslim whether he would like a drink. He replied in disgust that he would rather be ravished by a dozen whores than let liquor touch his lips.

The Aussie handed back his drink and said: "Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice.”


From The butt of Asian jokes:

It seems that Australians have become the Irish of Asia. Australians have enjoyed Irish jokes for decades, but as we become the Asian Irish there is a touch of the sinister in jokes about Australians coming from China and India.

史上最牛辞职信 - “湖州第一神保”李云舟

某某物业红丰家园管理处:

　　李云舟者，蜀中高隐，川北野儒也！浪迹江南，栖滞湖州。虽有经天纬地之才。而奈时遇不济，命运多舛，冯唐亦老，李广难封，屈贾谊于长沙，窜梁鸿于海曲；心比天高，身为下贱！自是口吐珠玑，腹罗锦绣，虽无徐儒来下陈蕃之榻，却有文光可射斗牛之虚也！文采风流已临精神世界之绝顶层巅；会当临绝顶，一览众山小，古今才大难为用。文章增命达，魑魅喜人过。吾如屈子之忧时伤世，离骚九歌，离风飘零！世人瞽瞽盲盲，徒留汩罗之憾也；更加深陈老杜，胸怀尧天舜日之志，指奸斥倭，与世不偕，直落得身世浮沉，屑小共怒。可堪千古一慨！

　　吾之品格精神，如临风之玉树，又如当空之明月浩然，怎堪与俗流共舞哉！可叹屈身于湖州某某物业，为一小小秧护员。诚如伏枥之骥，纵有千里之志，而奈缚手缚脚，无所可为，混迹于碌碌无为中矣！鉴于此，特向公司主管大人先生们引咎请辞！从此踏破樊笼飞彩凤，顿开铁锁走蛟龙。好比那万里白鸥鸥驰，驰骋于浩荡云海之间，谁复可训也！

　　即此 以致

赵公忠祥列传

　　赵公忠祥，北京人氏，皇家御用宣谕使者也，听命于司礼监，俯首于黄门郎，于宣谕之台牛马走。非权贵而权贵垂青，非贵胄而贵胄私喜，盖因赵公别有绝技耳。

　　夫赵公，声若洪钟，音若金吕，高低抑扬，亢仄自如，每有宣谕，无不顿挫悠扬，声声入耳者。或有圣谕昭告天下之时，司礼监必奉旨钦点，则赵公必运动七窍，腹走真气，胸溢豪情，启丹朱之唇，转多情之珠，掀忠厚之鼻，甚或垂涕泣之泪，娓娓而诵圣谕，款款而宣洪恩，闻者如痴如醉，听者欲仙欲死，如是则上悦下喜，赵公名矣。

　　然赵公之计不止此耳：腊尽除夕，宫中宴舞，与民同乐之际，则赵公必粉妆登台，执文武山呼之牛耳，领内侍谢恩之班头，颂河海清晏之辞赋，宣五洲捷报之瑞祥，化干戈为玉帛，扫狼烟为凯歌，当是时也，万民涕泣天恩，朝野歌舞达旦，此皆赵公于宣谕台鼓舌簧之功也，由是而赵公受赏无算，老而愈名之者也。

　　又，赵公精于兽语，举凡两足四脚，无翼有翅，食肉反刍，甚或蚊纳虫瘿，赵公多有识之者，每有所述，无不绘声绘色，状其逼肖，妇孺辈往往痴迷，竟不知人兽之别也。

　　甲申卯月，忽有民女某伏阙上书，自爆与赵公苟且事。赵公大愤，直斥其非，意者某女欲行讹诈也。有司案验，未得其祥，然朝野耸动，城乡争说之势已成燎原也。论者曰：赵公名满天下，成也天下，败也天下，是天下可容赵公，亦可轻弃赵公也。余则谓“此中有真意，欲辩已忘言”者也。

充满人生哲理的寓言

小驴问老驴：为啥咱们天天吃干草，而奶牛顿顿精饲料？

老驴叹到：咱爷们比不了，我们是靠跑腿吃饭，人家是靠胸脯吃饭。

......

职业的选择非常重要

鸭子和螃蟹赛跑，一起到达终点，难分胜负。

裁判说：你们来个剪刀石头布吧。

鸭子大怒：妈的，算计我？我一出是布，他总是剪刀。

......

竞争需要有天赋

狗对熊说：嫁给我吧，嫁给我你会幸福。

熊说：才不呢，嫁给你只会生狗熊，我要嫁给猫，生熊猫那才尊贵呢。

......

婚姻需要理智

老鳖调戏河蚌，被咬。老鳖忍痛拖着河蚌来回爬。青蛙见了敬佩的说：鳖哥混大了，出入都夹着公文包。

......

该装的时候就得装

史记 - 货殖列传 - 王石传

王石者，或言其安徽人也，其籍不可考，或传其父从定西侯震征新疆，有功，后为柳州转运使，中年得石，极宠之。及石长，有大志，狼行鶻顾，时人异之，昔粤省督以女妻之。石倚父翁之名，周旋商贾，无不得心应手，后以地产为业，竟致富可敌国。石好登山，每出，必耗资百万，尽兴而止。其人又好自传，开博客，书其事，图其影，以为宣传，纵行小善，必勒石以记，其好名如斯。好事者奉为偶像，附于其门下者多矣。

红朝五十九年四月初八日，会蜀郡汶川地大动，山崩河堰，祸及数百里，县镇至有顷刻夷为平地者，开国以来灾害之惨烈，无过于此。自是，举国皆惊，官商军民冒死往救者以百万计。富商巨贾，贩夫走卒，无不慷慨解囊，倾力以助。几数日，举国捐助愈六十亿，其间侠义之事不胜枚举，殊可叹也，中华重现复兴之象焉。

石迫其势，痛捐二百万文以为赈，又厌善捐者过其右，乃言于众曰:“灾者，常态也，我尝语仆从，人捐十文可也，多捐则负担重矣。”闻者哗然，或责以义，石强辩于其博客，不逞，遂闭其言路，不纳众人。舆论一时汹汹，至有嗤石为“王十”者。

四月十二日，上赴蜀中抚慰，民心大定，举国抗灾，同心如鉄。上与中书令共商赈灾及重建事，语及灾民，心甚戚戚焉。忽有闻，石已通工部侍郎及蜀郡工部咨事等，言谈间，隐然已定其灾后商计矣。

太史公曰：商贾之道，固有无利不起，亦有道义存焉。富而忘义，是为富不仁也。当世富豪如和黄李氏，台塑王氏，江苏陈氏者，无不倾囊以救国难，孟子曰：“古之人，得志，泽加于民；不得志，修身见于世。穷则独善其身，达则兼善天下。” 不亦宜乎？石暴富于先，吝捐于后，冒言于众，谋私于暗，不亦鄙乎。或讽石曰：公遍越世之绝岭，可越汶川一坟乎?

注：

1. 王石，万科总裁，别号“坟头男”。
   
   
2. 不管你征服多少座高峰，你的心灵却高不过一座坟头。致王石，尊重你的决定，鄙视你的人格！

The Hairdryer

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?'

'Of course, my child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!'

心理学

内向的小张在酒吧里看到一位容貌美丽的女子。 犹豫了很久之后，他终于鼓起勇气，走近她，低声问：“我能和你谈谈吗？“

突然女子高声叫了起来：“不 ，我不和你睡觉！"

整个酒吧的人都把目光盯在他俩身上，小张非常尴尬，红着脸一言不发，非常委屈的退回自己的座位。

过了一会儿，那位女子走到小张身边，低声道：“对不起，我是心理系的学生，刚才我只是想试验一下人们在尴尬的情况下反映如何。”

这时，小张高声的叫道：“你要两百元也太贵了！“

Brazil vs. Argentina

Before the football match between Argentina and Brazil, an Argentinean condom company came up with this ad.

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Brazil won the match and their Football organization replied to the ad.

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Proportion of Consumption Met By Recycled Materials

Original Numa Numa and Chinese Parody Version

The history of "Giving the Finger"

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew"). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! "PLUCK YEW!"

Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter.

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird".

And yew thought yew knew everything.