A joke about Aussie

A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London to Melbourne and when drink orders were taken the Aussie asked for rum and coke which was placed before him.

The attendant then asked the Muslim whether he would like a drink. He replied in disgust that he would rather be ravished by a dozen whores than let liquor touch his lips.

The Aussie handed back his drink and said: "Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice.”


From The butt of Asian jokes:

It seems that Australians have become the Irish of Asia. Australians have enjoyed Irish jokes for decades, but as we become the Asian Irish there is a touch of the sinister in jokes about Australians coming from China and India.

The Hairdryer

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?'

'Of course, my child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!'

Easter Bunny Knit Dissection

Describing this delightful Etsy item, Bill sez, "Apparently the Easter Bunny was killed in a tragic accident at a Peep factory and he donated his body to science. Finally, an answer to mystery of the origins of Easter eggs!"